Let's Talk About Sex (and Essential Oils), Baby - Everyday Essentials

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essential oils and sexuality

Let’s Talk About Sex (and Essential Oils), Baby

We all hit bumps in the road that affect our personal wellbeing and our outlook on life. It is easy to be derailed by stress, worry, anxiety, hormonal issues, depression, or fatigue.  These personal bumps in the road can become potholes in our relationships and lead to intimacy issues with our significant others.

Ultimately, a healthy relationship is dependent on clear communication with our partners and, when needed, professional medical or emotional help.

Additionally, essential oils can play a role in reducing stress and improving our overall health and wellness. They may also be great to boost libido and bring some spice back into the bedroom.

older couple cooking together in the kitchen

Improving Sexuality

By addressing our personal issues, we can improve our sexual health, our relationships, and our overall health. So, let’s break it down and see what steps we can take toward decreasing stress and increasing libido. In the famous words of Salt-N-Peppa, “Let’s tell it how it is, and how it could be… How it was, and of course, how it should be.”


Hormones play a big part in our sexuality and when they are out of balance, the body suffers. Studies have shown that Clary Sage, Neroli, Lavender, Geranium, and Rose Otto are helpful in reducing stress and improving sexual function.  

The Balance Synergy can also be used to calm and bring balance to a woman’s life. Not only is this blend balancing and calming, but it also has a few essential oils, such as Jasmine and Ylang Ylang, that are known aphrodisiacs.  Win-win!

sleep deprived essential oils for sexuality and romance


No matter the cause, fatigue can throw a real wrench in our desire for intimacy. Improving sleep quality will do wonders for mood and overall health. Among others, Sandalwood Australian, Bergamot, and Vetiver are some of my favorite essential oils for encouraging a great night of sleep. You’ll be much more likely to feel up to stealing a few special moments with your partner when you’re well rested. Be sure to check out this blog post for more great suggestions for improving sleep!


In 1996 a study determined that 75-90% of all healthcare visits are due to stress-related health problems. Stress leads to high blood pressure, heart problems, anxiety, and depression [1].  All of these issues can lead to lower libido. When you’re not feeling your best, you’re not in the mood.

Once again, we see some overlap in essential oils that are not only helpful for stress but other issues we’ve already addressed. Bergamot, Neroli, and Lavender are favorites for reducing stress and uplifting the mood. Reducing stress helps us become the best versions of ourselves. When we’re able to relax, we can better enjoy being with the people that we love.

essential oils for romance and sexuality plant therapy


Even though is further down the list, I feel it is the most important step in improving our intimate relationships. Removing personal roadblocks helps us better communicate and thus, a whole body approach is important and necessary. Sometimes, we still need a little help communicating our needs to our loved ones, and essential oils can be used to instill confidence, raise our self-esteem, and encourage sensuality.  

True Expression is a favorite when additional help with communication is needed. True Expression consists of Ho Wood, Lavender Fine, Spearmint, and Blue Tansy. Individually, these oils are calming, relaxing, energizing, and emotionally clearing. Working together as a synergy, these oils are fantastic for encouraging self-expression.

wine being poured into a bottle essential oils for romance plant therapy


Last but not least, essential oils can be used as an aphrodisiac. For centuries, people have used aromatic plants and floral waters to set the mood.  Science is now catching up, and new studies aim to prove the efficacy of using aromatherapy to improve our intimate relations.

A study in 2010 was conducted to show the stimulating effect of Jasmine when used in an aromatherapy massage. Subjects exposed to Jasmine had a significant increase in breathing rate, blood oxygen saturation, and blood pressure, indicating an increase in autonomic arousal.  Subjects reported that they felt more alert and vigorous than the control group, which received placebos [6].

Jasmine is a wonderfully uplifting essential oil that can help to balance mood and improve mental wellness.

This study is just one of many that explore the use of essential oils for improving sexual health and wellness.

Though there are many oils known for their aphrodisiac properties, some of my favorites include Sandalwood, Rose, Vetiver, Lavender, Bergamot, and Black Pepper.  

Setting the Mood

With our mind and body in a better place and our favorite aphrodisiacs in hand, we can move to the bedroom.  Massage is a wonderful way to invigorate the mind and body and to set the mood for a romantic evening.

Making your own massage blend is a rewarding way to get yourself into the right mindset for the evening. So, grab your favorite esSENSUAL oils and let’s blend!  

For Him Massage Blend

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For Her Massage Blend

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The Hookup Diffuser Blend

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1: America’s #1 Health Problem. The American Institute of Stress. Retrieved from https://www.stress.org/americas-1-health-problem/

2. Khadivzadeh, T., Najafi, M., Ghazanfarpour, M., Irani, M., Dizavandi, F., &Shariati, K. (2018). Aromatherapy for sexual problems in menopausal women: a systematic review and meta-analysis. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29765928

3. Lee, K., Cho, E., & Kang, Y. (2014). Changes in 5-hydroxytryptamine and cortisol plasma levels in menopausal women after inhalation of clary sage oil. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24802524

4. Farnia, V., Hojatitabar, S., Shakeri, J., Reaei, M., Yazdchi, K., Bajoghli, H., Holsboer-Trachsler, E., & Brand, S. (2015). Adjuvant rosa damascena has a small effect on SSRI-induced sexual dysfunction in female patients suffering from MDD. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26098128

5. Choi, S., Kang, P., Lee, H., & Seole, G. (2014). Effects of inhalation of essential oil of citrus aurantium l. var. amara on menopausal symptoms, stress, and estrogen in postmenopausal women: a randomized controlled trial. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25024731

6. Hongratanaworakit, T. (2010). Stimulating effect of aromatherapy massage with jasmine oil. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20184043


66 thoughts on “Let’s Talk About Sex (and Essential Oils), Baby”

  • I hadn’t really looked at any of the chakra synergies before, but I’m thinking the True Expression just MIGHT be the thing that helps us open up more

  • HAHA The “hook-up diffuser” blend. Never thought to use EOs in the bedroom. I want to give this a try for sure now!!!

  • Love these! My hubby and I are each known for putting together different diffuser blends to try to get one another in the mood!

  • Great info about some of the big “mood” saboteurs. Love the name of The Hookup blend! Looking forward to trying it out!

  • This was so interesting and informative just like all of PT’s wonderful blog posts. I would have never have thought of Black Pepper! I l like the smell of Black Pepper but my boyfriend would not like it for setting the mood haha. I will be adding Balance and True Expression to my wishlist. Thanks again PT!

  • What oils blend best with ylang ylang for “setting the mood” purposes? I like the smell, but it’s overwhelming. I plan to make a perfume!

    1. Ariel, Ylang Ylang can be incredibly overpowering and often a single drop in a blend will do the trick! Try blending it with Sandalwood, Bergamot, or even Black Pepper to find your perfect “setting the mood” perfume 🙂

  • I would have never imagine Black Pepper to be an arousing smell. I guess some colognes smell peppery in a way! Excited to try some of these oil blends.

  • With three rowdy boys in the house, a husband who is gone most of the week for work, and the stress of trying to keep the household running smoothly, sadly, there hasn’t been much time nor energy given to the bedroom. I was considering using my PT Perqs reward for other items, but after reading this article, I’m surely going to use it to get Jasmine. I’ve always enjoyed the synthetic/fragrance versions and I can’t wait to experience the real deal! Especially if it will help bring some closeness in my marriage!! Thank you for posting this article…gives me a newfound hope!!

  • Oh my gosh, I feel like I need all of these. We just have so much trouble feeling in the mood since our 15-month-old was born. Her continued waking around 4am doesn’t help, and neither does my inability to fall asleep before midnight . Some day!

  • The hookup blend is very creative! Not your typical aphrodisiac oils. I just LOVE Jasmine so much. I’m glad you included it, as it’s a personal favorite. I love my teeny bottle from pt.

  • A lot of great information here, thank you for the wonderful ideas and recipes. I love the acknowledgement of the fact that so many things contribute to being in “the mood” and that those underlying issues are recognized and addressed here!

  • I see 1 oz of carrier oil on the “For Him” massage oil, but not the “For Her” blend. Am I misreading? I know not to apply oils undiluted, but wanted to mention for anyone who is new and maybe didn’t know.

    1. Karri, the recipe has been updated to include a carrier oil. You are absolutely right that some customers may have been confused when it was left out and we definitely don’t want anyone to use the EOs without a carrier! Thank you for bringing that to our attention 🙂

        1. Valerie, yes, we recommend an ounce for that recipe, and you can use whatever your favorite carrier oil is! If you want to use this in a massage, try Grapeseed or our Marvelous Massage Carrier Blend 🙂 Other good choices would be Fractionated Coconut Oil or Jojoba Oil. I hope this helps!

  • I think my comment didn’t process. If it did, delete this. I love these blends. I also really appreciate that you cite your sources.

  • In all honesty, using a particular oil or blend of oils repeatedly and consistently when being romantic builds a history that begins to contribute to the power of the oils. The experience gets linked to the smell. So, expecially for the “immune” husband, keep at it–see if building a romantic history with certain oils will help. And for the dear lady who had the hysterectomy, I know the feeling. But…give yourself other treats during that time that will build your pleasure–nice oil aromas that you enjoy, sweet music, a nice massage–and then the rest, even if it isn’t super for you, will be more pleasant all in all!

  • I love all these suggestions and can’t wait to try the massage oils. I don’t have all the essential oils but I’m sure I can substitute some of them.

  • I am very excited to try some of these ideas! Life as a busy working Mom of 3 sure makes keeping romantic time a priority difficult! I love that my oils can support my efforts in this area too!

  • I really wanted to ask which of these synergies are kidsafe, but then I realized how completely inappropriate that question is . In my defense, the hubby and I have an eight month old, so I’ve been very careful to make sure I’m only using kidsafe oils (not on her, of course).

    1. Your comment made me laugh 🙂 Each of our oils are labeled with the KidSafe logo if they are safe for kiddos; each oil mentioned should have a link to its product page so that you can check out their information easily 🙂

  • I had a hysterectomy and with that….OUT went any sort of mood in the bedroom. None. No desire. I have absolutely NO desire. Kind of sad but true. Maybe this will help 🙁

    1. We really hope the information here can provide a little help for you 🙂 Please don’t hesitate to reach out to our team of certified aromatherapists at [email protected] if you would like more advice or information for your situation 🙂

  • Im so excited to try this! We have been trying for a while now & havnt had the best of luck with everything. I’m so Blessed I have found PT My stress levels have gone WAY down. Can’t wait to try these DIYs

  • I definitely want to try the diffuser blend! I love in Eo’s in the diffuser to set the mood and making scented massage oil seems like great idea too!

  • This is a perfect blog for February – heart health month and Valentines Day! And I have these oils on hand…

  • I’ve tried different “aphrodisiac” blends in the diffuser before (just to see what would happen), and my husband seems to be immune, hahaha! I definitely learned that he doesn’t like the smells of some of the oils I have though, like Ylang Ylang or Spearmint or Black Pepper!!! 😀 lol

  • This is very well written. Sex can require a lot of care in a lot of different aspects of life. I love the idea of using oils to encourage things like communication and hormonal balance.

  • I am surprised to see blk pepper on here. I love it and now will look at it much more closely lol. Thank you for this blog

  • OMG! I can’t love this post enough. No matter where you are in your relationship there’s nothing wrong with bringing in some extras. I’m going to make these blends asap. Thanks!!

    1. Cristy, I would recommend that instead of using 6 drops of Rose Otto Diluted, try 3 drops of undiluted Rose Otto. It has a much more intense aroma than the diluted version 🙂

  • So many great oils for a happier, healthier, more balanced life! I’m definitely going to get some of these!

  • I was surprised to not see the Sensual Synergy on this post. What are your thoughts on this blend for enhancing the mood?

    1. You’re right, Kate! Sensual is missing here, but that’s okay. It is a perfect choice for enhancing the mood; You’ll notice that the blend contains many of the essential oils we include in this blog 🙂

  • I can’t wait to try some of these. Between stress and fatigue, not in the mood much anymore. Thank you for the recipes and ifeas.

  • You’re so right! The quality of one very specific part of my life does depend on how well I’m functioning and other very specific areas of my life! I love how many of these oils double up to serve more than one purpose! I don’t think that’ll ever adjust neroli though!

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